I Became Stronger, Thanks To You

I used to believe that I was a strong, independent person who didn't need anyone but myself. I was always the hard worker among all of my closest friends. I was always very confident. I guess I even found myself to be superior and fearless. I was the shoulder that everyone leaned on when their lives were upside down. I was the person who always said that won't happen to me, I won't allow it. I used to be the friend who used to get on my friends about being in a bad, stressful, abusive relationships. Then it happened to me.

I met my son's father and at first things were great. He made me feel like a queen. It was always about me and my feelings and how things would affect me. I guess because the relationship was going so well that I maybe excused or become blind or oblivious to the infidelity that soon lead to arguments and name calling and sometimes pushing and shoving. Remember, I was the one who said it wouldn't happen to me. I used to say, stupid get out of that relationship, leave that jerk. And here I was in the same situation and just wasn't strong enough to leave.

Before long I found out that I was expecting. We were both very happy I remember thinking how this would change the everything and now both of us could focus on the baby and there would be less fighting and more celebrating. Well that didn't happen we seemed to fight more and more. I was worried about getting everything ready for the baby and he was more worried about being out with his friends and playing in his band and of course the groupies. I was left alone to plan for the future of our son and get everything ready for his birth. I did name my son after him, Nathan Orlando Page. When my son was born it was the greatest moment of my life. He seemed to be very excited as well. Except we were struggling financially and with the arrival of my son it made things worse.

I stuck in the relationship after that point for a few more years. Soon it got to the point where we weren't even talking to each other. I always thought of different events or social gatherings that me and my son could go to just to be away from him. One day he didn't come home from playing a gig and I promised myself that when I got home from work that day I was going to pack my things and never come back. That's exactly what I did.

So I tell myself now, I may have lowered my guard during this ugly relationship. I may not have been that strong girl anymore. I may have let him take control of me, but now I am only that much stronger. I'm stronger today than I ever was. I am a much bigger, better, and most importantly happier person. So I wasn't tough as I thought I was. I actually think I am superior and fearless because I left and never looked back. Well I guess I ought to thank him for that. Thank you for making me superior and fearless.